Week-end score: Dogs: 4; Cats: 2; People: 3

My people took Renzo, Hamish and Kyzer to a flyball tournament on Saturday and Sunday. My favorite person, Moni, came and checked on me, Tansy and Rafe. The people took Renzo because he was competing (and did a good job as always--reliable Renzo we call him--he bobbled the ball once, but otherwise was spot on); they took Kyzer because he's a baby (though Renzo told me he didn't act like a baby at all and was very good with all the people petting him. He even figured out by the end of the day on Saturday that it's safe to pee even if you have a leash attached to you--that's hard to learn, so we were all proud); they took Hamish because he scored two points during the week by eating a hole in a pair of sleepy pants AND in the replacement fuzzy fleece sweater that one of the people bought to replace another one that he'd eaten a hole in. Hamish had a pretty boring time and said he would have rather stayed with us. We considered calling the people for "unnecessary dog removal" (since they are exercising an unfair advantage afforded them by their opposable thumbs, ability to walk upright and of course the fact that they have the keys to the car), but we decided instead that we like the challenge of having only three dogs on the home front to play the game.

We at home dogs also scored two points when we ate the last remaining spatula in the house AND the handle of the special cheese-slicer thingy that one of the people bought in Germany. That means that the dogs scored 4 points over the week.

Even the cats got in the game. Actually, it was just the scary kitty, Fox, who destroyed two rolls of toilet paper (thus earning two points as well). Our friend Moni told our people that she came to let us out and there was toilet paper everywhere. She blamed us, but the people know as well as we do who the toilet-paper-meister is.

The stupid people did score some points of their own. First, they saved one roll of toilet paper by hiding it in the medicine cabinet. They also saved one pair of pants from having its pockets chewed out (that was my bad--they were watching football, so I thought it was safe. One of the people came up to get a pair of socks and found me with the pants before I could chew out the pocket--I apologized to the rest of the team for not paying enough attention). Finally, they saved one shoe from Kyzer. That should hardly count as a point since Kyzer is hardly a real player, but the people whined so much that we gave it to them. So, they scored three points.

Animals are still ahead by three and we have an excellent game plan. We may be a little bit hindered since the people have reinstituted the "young dogs must be crated when there are no people at home" rule, which means that only Renzo and Tansy are loose in the house. But, two six year old dogs with a lot of experience under their belts are a fair enough match, we think.

DNN (Dog News Network) Headlines:
1. Rafe Gets Bath Tonight Due to Itch
2. Pippin Held In Living Room Against Her Will In Battle with Fox, the Cat
3. Hamish Learning New Trick to be Unveiled Soon
4. Kyzer Rules Puppy Kindergarten
5. Tansy has the Last Laugh in Battle with People over Barking
6. Renzo Reclaims Fuzzy Bed
7. Cats Still Get to Sleep in Bed while Dogs have to Sleep in Crates. Dogs Considering Arbitration